Why 99.9% of online money-making programs do NOT work!?

 

 

 

 

(Making Money Online: What Works and What Doesn’t)

 

 

 

 

 

Hey Guys,

 

 

 

Over the last few months, I have tried about every stupid thing on the internet to make money. I have found only a select few that really pay. I am writing this to give everyone a simple guide to making money online without all the BS. Oh, and make sure to check out the links within the text. They offer you detailed information on specific websites.

 

What Not To Do
The don’t section of this article is more important than the do section. I have spent countless hours on the don’t section and only a select few on the do section. Most websites that promise you money don’t work. Here are a few sites that don’t work.

 

1. Any site that asks you to give money in order to use their site is a scam. Stay away. Run and never turn back.

 

2. 99.9% of the paid survey sites are bad. Making money on a site like this takes a long time and you have to give away almost all of your private information. Even when you find a site that let’s you actually take a survey, most of the time you don’t qualify. This means they will put you in some stupid monthly drawing and chances are you will never receive any money. I started to get spammed a lot after signing up for these sites. And don’t even think about asking them to not send you emails anymore. Once they have your information they will not stop contacting you. I guess you could make a few dollars every few months if you are lucky enough to qualify, but you have to give away your soul to do it. Plus, the money you make is minimal. There are much better sites to make money. These sites are just not worth it.

 

3. Any site that you have to sign up for offers is dangerous. These sites redirect you to other unreliable sites and you have to give away more personal information. I am just not comfortable doing that. It really isn’t worth the few dollars you get for signing up for an offer.

 

4. Sites that offer you money for posting in forums are not good money makers. I am thinking of a site like MyLot. Content Producer Jennifer does a great job breaking down this website. Just click on the MyLot link for a quality non-bias look.

 

What Works

 

 

 

The good news is that there are a few sites that do actually pay you for some hard work. Notice I said hard work. Most people want to make money online and have it just fall on their lap. In order to make some legitimate money, a lot has to be done. Here are a few sites that can work if you put the effort into them.

 

1. Associated content is a great site and the best one I have found. AC gives writers everything they need to be successful. They give you sites to promote on, your own profile and web space, a great community, and money up front. With the Associated Content Performance Bonus a writer can make as much money as they want. The downsides are few and far between. If you are a talented writer and a good self promoter than you can make a few hundred a month on this site.

 

2. Helium and Constant Content are the second-tier pay for writing sites. In order to make money on Helium, you have to write a ton of articles and by a ton I mean a ton. Generating a good stream of cash is possible if you write a bunch and you get lucky. The great thing about this site is you don’t have to spend as much time on each thing you write. Typically, a 100 word response is good for the category. A person really has to think long term when they write for Helium. Constant Content offers big money for big articles. Serious writers need only apply. The problem is it takes forever to get an offer on an article and even then you don’t make a lot of money. This site can be a lot of fun if you are a serious writer and you like to write extensively.

 

3. Moola is a fun gaming website that gives you a chance to win big. The games here are simple but they are a lot of fun and people are always looking to play. There are a number of ways to make money and my research shows this site to be legit. No one is going to have a huge pile of money from this site but getting paid to play games is pretty cool. They have a neat referral system and I imagine if you want to make money from this site then referring people is the way to do it. I have invitations if anyone is looking for them.

 

4. If you are a talented promoter and can offer people something new, then blogging is a great way to make some money. Most blogging sites like Blogger use Google Adsense to make money and this is usually a tough way to make income. There is some hope though. If you find some good ways to promote then the possibilities are endless. If you are really feeling ambitious then invest in your own website. If you are starting your own website to make money make sure you have some unique material to offer.

 

5. This one is pure speculation but I have done my research and AGLOCO sounds legitimate. Back in the late 90’s, AllAdvantage was a success. It paid over 120 million dollars to its member who got money from referring people and surfing the web. AllAdvantage was known for its privacy protection and for its payout. The new incarnation is AGLOCO (AGlobal Community). The Toolbar service is not quite out yet but people are referring like mad. Some people have referred upwards of 20000+ people!. Make sure to check it out and if you want more information contact me.

 

THE BEST ONE THAT GUARANTEES TO MAKE MONEY?

 

 

 

EMPOWER NETWORK…hands down! 

 

 

 

watch this free video to find out what I am talking about: Click HERE!

 

 

 

 

 

-If you have never heard or are skeptical, just simply watch the video if you are not yet convinced:

 

There are lots of programs with broken promises and you may not even believe me right now, but what have you got to lose, with a 30-day money back guarantee…IN FACT, the company doesn’t bill you for the first 30-days!
Make sure to protect yourself out there. A lot of sites are trying to get your personal information and have little in the way of making you money. If you find any more legit sites please contact me. Hope this guide was helpful!

 

 

 

 

 

See you at the top 🙂

 

 

“Dream to Succeed…then take ACTION”

 

916.275.4820

 

gene2success@gmail.com

Quick and Easy Way to Download Videos From YouTube!

Hey Guys,

Have you ever want to download a video from youtube and had to download some video downloading program?  Even worse, it was a free trial software so you had  some watermark covering the video?  anyways....I will keep this short...

(bonus video below)

…here is a very quick tutorial on how to download any video you want from youtube!

Step 1: Go to youtube and find a video you want to download:

Step 2: Locate the URL of the video in the address bar:

Step 3: Type “ss” between the dot and youtube and click enter:

Step 4: You will be redirected to another page where you simply choose the quality of the video and the download will begin immediately:

 

ENJOY 🙂

Watch a video of a true success story here:

To you great success,

Eugene Kravchuk

916.275.4820

Anyone wants to try a $325,000 burger?

 

I recently found an article in NY times about a laboratory that is trying to engineer an in-vitro burger, that will be eaten at an even in London.  The researchers are trying to prove that cultured meat can be a reality.  Absurd? See for yourself:

http://linkprosperity.com/earnstableincome

MAASTRICHT, the Netherlands — As a gastronomic delicacy, the five-ounce hamburger that Mark Post has painstakingly created here surely will not turn any heads. But Dr. Post is hoping that it will change some minds.

The hamburger, assembled from tiny bits of beef muscle tissue grown in a laboratory and to be cooked and eaten at an event in London, perhaps in a few weeks, is meant to show the world — including potential sources of research funds — that so-called in vitro meat, or cultured meat, is a reality.

“Let’s make a proof of concept, and change the discussion from ‘this is never going to work’ to, ‘well, we actually showed that it works, but now we need to get funding and work on it,’ “ Dr. Post said in an interview last fall in his office at Maastricht University.

Down the hall, in a lab with incubators filled with clear plastic containers holding a pinkish liquid, a technician was tending to the delicate task of growing the tens of billions of cells needed to make the burger, starting with a particular type of cell removed from cow necks obtained at a slaughterhouse.

The idea of creating meat in a laboratory — actual animal tissue, not a substitute made from soybeans or other protein sources — has been around for decades. The arguments in favor of it are many, covering both animal welfare and environmental issues.

A 2011 study in the journal Environmental Science and Technology, for example, showed that full-scale production of cultured meat could greatly reduce water, land and energy use, and emissions of methane and other greenhouse gases, compared with conventional raising and slaughtering of cattle or other livestock. Those environmental arguments will only gain strength, advocates say, as worldwide demand for meat increases with the rise of middle-class populations in China and elsewhere.

Dr. Post, one of a handful of researchers in the field, has made strides in developing cultured meat through the use of stem cells — precursor cells that can turn into others that are specific to muscle, for example — and techniques adapted from medical research for growing tissues and organs, a field known as tissue engineering. (Indeed, Dr. Post, a physician, considers himself first and foremost a tissue engineer, and about four-fifths of his time is dedicated to studying how to build blood vessels.)

Yet growing meat in the laboratory has proved difficult and devilishly expensive. Dr. Post, who knows as much about the subject as anybody, has repeatedly postponed the hamburger cook-off, which was originally expected to take place in November.

His burger consists of about 20,000 thin strips of cultured muscle tissue. Dr. Post, who has conducted some informal taste tests, said that even without any fat, the tissue “tastes reasonably good.” For the London event he plans to add only salt and pepper.

But the meat is produced with materials — including fetal calf serum, used as a medium in which to grow the cells — that eventually would have to be replaced by similar materials of non-animal origin. And the burger was created at phenomenal cost — 250,000 euros, or about $325,000, provided by a donor who so far has remained anonymous. Large-scale manufacturing of cultured meat that could sit side by side with conventional meat in a supermarket and compete with it in price is at the very least a long way off.

“This is still an early-stage technology,” said Neil Stephens, a social scientist at Cardiff University in Wales who has long studied the development of what is also sometimes referred to as “shmeat.” “There’s still a huge number of things they need to learn.”

There are also questions of safety — though Dr. Post and others say cultured meat should be as safe as, or safer than, conventional meat, and might even be made to be healthier — and of the consumer appeal of a product that may bear little resemblance to a thick, juicy steak.

“This is something very new,” Dr. Stephens said. “People need to wrestle with the idea of whether this is meat or not.”

Dr. Post is well aware of the obstacles. “I see the major hurdles, probably better than anybody else,” he said. “But you’ve got to have faith in technological advances, that they will be solved.”

And as with any technology, costs should eventually come down. “If it can be done more efficiently, there’s no reason why it can’t be cheaper,” he said. “It has to be done using the right materials, introducing recycling into the system, controlling labor through automation.”

Cultured meat would have some inherent cost advantages over conventional meat, said Hanna Tuomisto, whose research while at the University of Oxford in England was the basis for the Environmental Science and Technology study. “It’s really about the conversion of feed to meat,” she said. “In cultured meat production it’s much more efficient; only the meat is produced, and not all the other parts.”

Gabor Forgacs, a researcher at the University of Missouri and a founder of Modern Meadow, a start-up company that wants to develop and market cultured meat, is aware of the hurdles as well. “Getting cultured meat to the supermarket is going to be difficult, and controversial,” said Dr. Forgacs, whose approach to cultured meat has some similarities to Dr. Post’s, although he has also developed 3-D bioprinting technologies that might someday be used to create thicker tissues.

Given the difficulties, Modern Meadow is first focusing on creating cultured leather. Its process does not use stem cells but rather skin fibroblasts, specialized cells that produce collagen. “There are a lot of parallels to cultured meat, except that it is a lot less controversial because you’re not going to eat it,” Dr. Forgacs said. “But if we can convince the universe that we can build leather, it will be much easier to convince the universe that we can build meat.”

In his work on cultured meat, Dr. Post uses a type of stem cell called a myosatellite cell, which the body itself uses to repair injured muscle tissue. The cells, which are found in a certain part of muscle tissue, are removed from the cow neck and put in containers with the growth medium. Through much trial and error, the researchers have learned how best to get the cells to grow and divide, doubling repeatedly over about three weeks.

“But we need billions,” said Anon van Essen, the technician in Dr. Post’s lab.

The cells are then poured onto a small dab of gel in a plastic dish. The nutrients in the growth medium are greatly reduced, essentially starving the cells, which forces them to differentiate into muscle cells. “We use the cell’s natural tendency to differentiate,” Dr. Post said. “We don’t do any magic.”

Over time the differentiated cells merge to form primitive muscle fibers, called myotubes. “And then they just start to put on protein,” Dr. Post said, and organize themselves into contractile elements. The key to this self-organization, he said, is that the cells are anchored in place (using a technique that he declined to disclose; earlier in his work he used Velcro). “We add anchor points so they can attach to something and start to develop tension,” he said. “That is by far the biggest driver of protein synthesis, and they do that by themselves.”

The result is a tiny strip of tissue, about half an inch long and only a twenty-fifth of an inch in diameter, that looks something like a short pink rice noodle, Dr. Post said.

The strips have to be thin because cells need to be close to a supply of nutrients to stay alive. One approach to making thicker tissues — to make a cultured steak rather than a hamburger, for instance — would require developing a network of channels, the equivalent of blood vessels, to carry nutrients to each cell. (A steak would also require culturing fat and incorporating it in the tissue, something Dr. Post has not had to do with his burger.)

Dr. Post said that one advantage of using myosatellite cells is that they differentiate easily. “The satellite cell is the ideal cell,” he said. “You don’t have to pull a lot of tricks to let it differentiate. I also think it’s a practical advantage of keeping a lot of the stem cell production and quality control in the animal itself.”

But others note that since there is a limit to how often myosatellite cells can reproduce, Dr. Post’s cultured meat will never be completely animal-free; he will always need a supply of muscle tissue from which to obtain new cells.

Other researchers are studying different kinds of stem cells that, unlike myosatellite cells, can reproduce indefinitely, ensuring a “livestock-autonomous” supply of cells to make cultured meat. Dutch researchers at Utrecht University are trying to isolate embryonic stem cells from pigs and cows. And Nicholas Genovese of the University of Missouri is trying to develop a type of stem cell that is “induced” from a regular adult cell. So a skin cell from a pig, perhaps, could be turned into a stem cell that could reproduce indefinitely and differentiate into muscle tissue to create cultured pork.

But Dr. Post said that efforts to use different kinds of stem cells introduced other problems. And even if his approach means the world will still need cattle, it will need far fewer of them. “If we can reduce the global herd a millionfold, then I’m happy,” he said. “I don’t need to reduce it a billionfold.”

Anyway, he said, “a lot of the technologies in the process we are currently using eventually have to be changed, if not all of them.

“That’s not the point of the proof of concept,” Dr. Post said. “The point is, we already have sufficient technology to make a product that we could call meat or cultured beef, and we can eat it and we survive.”

“I’m not by nature a very passionate guy,” he added. “But I feel strongly that this could have a major impact on society in general. And that’s a big motivator.”

Thank you,

Eugene K.

 

Summary of Think and Grow Rich

Below I have summarized the steps in Think and Grow Rich. To get a deeper perspective, register for the six-week mastermind group. Through the mastermind study, you will study its principles.

Think and Grow Rich is a classic goal achieving book helping millions of people across the globe achieve success and wealth in their lives for many years. It was published in 1937.

 I have summarized the 13 chapters of the Original Version, Restored and Revised below:

Step 1: Desire

The first step to achieving your goals is having a BURNING desire. You must be completely and entirely in love with your goal. When you are in love, you constantly think and dream about the other person. No one needs to tell you to daydream about them–you just do. You must treat your goals in that same way. Your goal should scare you and excite you all at the same time.

Step 2: Faith

Faith is KNOWING without a shadow of a doubt that your goals WILL come true. Regardless of how things may appear on the outside, have FAITH that you WILL achieve your goals. Never give up no matter what. Never doubt because that will slow down the process.

Step 3: Autosuggestion

Autosuggestion is self suggestion. Create a paragraph of the goal you are working on and write it in present tense and affirm it to yourself at least twice daily. Your subconscious mind is listening at all times and it is your subconscious mind that creates what it believes.

Step 4: Specialized Knowledge

It is not necessary to have all the answers. It is impossible to know everything. When achieving your goal, surround yourself with knowledgeable people–people with an expertise in what you want to accomplish. Ask for help and work with experts.

Step 5: Imagination

Imagination is NOT just for children. The most successful people have a wild imagination. Napoleon Hill says “What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” Your imagination is what will make your goals real and come alive. The more vivid your imagination, the more you will attract it to you. The mind does not know the difference between reality and what is imagined. The same parts of the brain are used for both. Think it first, then live it.

Step 6: Organized Planning

Once you are sure about what you want, you need to have a plan of action. Your plan can include a strategic plan or a marketing plan. You will need some sort of idea on how exactly you are going to achieve your goal. You also have to surround yourself with a group of people, a mastermind group that will support you in getting there.

Step 7: Decision

 Make a DECISION and have a no-turning-back attitude. Decide that you WILL accomplish your goal. When you decide and eliminate all other options, the universe will conspire to help you achieve what you are focused on. Make decisions promptly and act on them immediately, the universe loves speed.

 Step 8: Persistence

Never give up. Keep moving towards your dream. You may need to alter your plan slightly but never give up on your goal. NEVER. All successful people have had to move through all the tough stuff in order for them to achieve what they want.

Step 9: Power Of The Mastermind

 Napoleon Hill said, “No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind.” A synergy effect is created when multiple people are gathered together in a spirit of helping each other achieve success. A mastermind brings together a wide range of knowledge and expertise helping you move towards your goal quicker. It also gives you the accountability and support needed to get you moving faster.

 Step 10: The Mystery of Sex Transmutation

Sexual desire is one of the most powerful emotions. Sexual transmutation is not about suppressing this desire but rather taking that energy and using that same desire and energy for the purpose of realizing your goals.

Step 11: Subconscious Mind

Your whole life and all of your results are a reflection of your beliefs and paradigms in your subconscious mind. In order to change your results and your actions that cause your results, you must work on changing your ultimate belief system that you hold in your subconscious.

Step 12: Brain

The brain is a sending and receiving station that sends out signals of what you are thinking and what you desire or do not desire. Your brain is also picking up feedback from the universe that some of us call intuition. Your intuition will lead you to the right places or will cause you to be at the right place at the right time. You must learn to strengthen your intuition and listen carefully to what it is saying.

 Step 13: Sixth Sense

 The chapter on the sixth sense is acknowledging a higher power, an energy that cannot be fully explained. Some call this energy God, some call it Infinite Intelligence or the universe. The sixth sense is about learning how to connect to this higher power for It will guide you and lead the way.

—

Make today a success,

Eugene Kravchuk

916.275.4820

dentyk88@gmail.com

 

P.S. If you believe you deserve a better life click on my picture:

Free Prosperity Live Training Video

Free Prosperity Live Training Video

This is a great video that discusses attracting business leads to your facebook account.  So instead of surfing on Facebook  without any purpose, many people are actually making a living out of it.  Check it out and please SHARE!

Money Investing Company that pays high interest every 10 days (I personally use it)

Money Investing Company that pays high interest every 10 days (I personally use it)

 

 

It’s truly amazing.  I have tried various money making schemes which just mislead me.  This website is actually secure and very straightforward.  If you want to just sit and do nothing then you won’t make much but some! For example, if you invest $450 you will be making $10 each day. It’s not that bad.  You won’t find any bank that will give you the same deal.  Anyways, check it out and if you like it, sign up if not…well then at least you know it exists 😉

-Eugene K.

 

P.S. When you sign up you will see the name Oksana Gotisan (That is my wonderful wife’s name that I married less than 6 months ago)….that reminds me I need to update my blog.

 

(Article) Teens Sleeping with Cell Phones: A Clear and Present Danger

This article is very insightful and thought-provoking about cell phones and how a balance is crucial to lead a normal and healthy life, especially for teenagers.

 

Teens Sleeping with Cell Phones: A Clear and Present Danger

By SUZANNE PHILLIPS, PSY.D., ABPP

 

You may already know that many teens sleep with their cell phone on or near the bed.  As an adult, you yourself may sleep with your cell phone and see no problem with this behavior.

A closer look at the reasons that 4 out of 5 teens sleep with their phone, however, gives cause for concern.  While for some teens, the night use of the phone is as a clock or alarm, for most the phone is on all night to connect with peers.

This “on call” status can reflect obligation, anxious need, and even addiction. It jeopardizes physical, emotional and cognitive functioning and limits domains of influence and connection.

Obligation

• The peer pressure “to be available” used to mean hanging out after school. It takes on different proportions when it means being available 24/7. Teens in focus groups report that they sleep with a phone under the pillow in case someone contacts them. They report wanting to be available for a friend in need but dislike being called for unnecessary issues, pranks, or by bored friends.
• At an age when self-esteem hinges on peer acceptance, being caught in the demands of always being available is difficult. Many teens report stories of friends getting insulted, angry or upset if a text message or phone call is not responded to immediately.

“People will wake me up in the middle of the night and I have to wake up and talk or they will think I’m mad at them or something.”

Sleep Deprivation

Anyone who has dealt with the sleep deprivation of being a new parent or knows the sleep disruption and hypervigilance of being “on call” can appreciate the undue physical and emotional cost of a teen’s all night phone connection.

Medical research increasingly underscores the need for adolescents to get sleep – in fact 9 hours compared with adult’s 8 hours. Teen sleep deprivation has been associated with memory deficits, impaired performance and alertness. The loss of REM or intense sleep can result in increased irritability, anxiety and depression, as well as reduced concentration and creativity.

• Do you know if your teen is sleeping?
• Does he/she need help protecting their sleep?

The Texting Trap

Cell-phone texting has become the preferred channel of basic communication between teens and their friends. One in three teens sends more than 100 text messages a day or 3000 texts a month.

Teens who use their cell phones to text are 42% more likely to sleep with their phones than teens who own phones but don’t text.

Texting is instantly gratifying and highly anxiety producing.  Instant connection can create elation and self-value only to be replaced by the devastation of no response, a late response, the misinterpretation of a punctuation mark, a sexually harassing text, a text sent to the wrong person or a text that is later regretted.

Neuro-imaging has shown that back and forth texting floods the pleasure centers of the brain, the same area that lights up when using heroin.  The emotional disruption of a real or perceived negative response, however, necessitates more texting to repair the mood, to fix the feelings of rejection, blame and disconnection. The addictive potential is obvious.

Texting as an addiction jeopardizes sleep, cognitive functioning and real relating- making dependence on it greater and greater.

Protective Factors

• Teens can’t call or text in the middle of soccer games, music lessons, snowboarding, karate classes or while engaged in marching band. Will this stop them from texting before or after the activity? Probably not, but…
• Having activities that offer different physical, intellectual, creative, or spiritual dimensions protects a teen by ensuring alternate opportunities to enhance self-esteem, meet friends, master new skills and make connections.
• When there are options there is less desperation, dependence and addiction to the 24/7 connection.  Much less definition of self is riding on an unreturned or nasty text message.

Deprivation of Domains of Influence

The adolescent tasks of separation from parents and identify formation are fostered by peer connections. Neither theoretically nor realistically, however, do they imply a complete replacement of parent influence by peer influence or a necessary conflict between them.

Teens need the ongoing benefit of both parent and peer connections to enhance self-esteem and to formulate identity.  According to research psychologist Wim Meeus (1995), both parents and peers have a strong influence in different situations – peers with leisure time, parents with school and career, mothers and peers with relationships.

It is the lack of balance – the inability to venture beyond parental connection or the absence of parental connection – that leaves a teen overly dependent and with limited resources for self-development.

Technology with its possibility of 24/7 connection by cell phone, deprives a teen of a separate parental and family domain. Whereas coming home could mean alternative connections, impressions, and experiences with family members, the 24/7 cell phone connection precludes this. It keeps a teen continually connected to peers but “out of “ the moment, place and relationships with parents and family.

“Out of Calling Range”

• It is to a teen’s great advantage to be in a family where parents support peer connections BUT everyone shuts off cell phones and no one texts at dinner – even if family dinner means two family members sitting down to have a quick pizza.
• It is to a teen’s advantage to be involved in experiences with a parent be it driving lessons, baking, laying cement, planning a trip or skiing where both agree to postpone answering or send a “ call you back later” while they are busy together.  The need for parents to model this is crucial.

Planning vs. Policing

If parents are able to plan with their teens to open the spaces and relieve the “on call” demands, the teen can have the benefit of both parents and peers.

• Quite concretely, research shows that calling plans that offer limited hours or texting – result in less use by teens. If it is discussed that minutes and messages have to be limited,  many teens will self-limit rather than have parents checking.
• Discussing and planning the use of the cell phone is a far better alternative to policing. In the case of one boy – telling his friends that his cell phone was shut off after 11 PM actually gave him an out.
• One mother suggested that her teens tell friends that all cell phones will be unreachable during the night as they will be on a charger pad.  When her  daughter voiced worry about a friend who was having a difficult time and  might need someone to call – the Mom validated the concern but invited her daughter to give their house number as an emergency back-up.
• The midnight kitchen conversation between parent and teen or the story revealed by either when driving together needs a space side by side with connection to technology.

The Benefit of Disconnection

As one teen described it,

“To stay connected with my friends means there is no disconnecting.”

Notwithstanding the importance of peer and parental connection, there is a need for disconnection from both-a need for downtime.Research has found that major cross sections of the brain become surprisingly active during downtime.  Private time without stimulation allows the brain to synthesize information, make connections between ideas and foster development of a personal self.

We have provided our teens with a high tech world of endless connectivity-We must also insure for them the ingredients of privacy, balance, space and time to make it safe as well as vital.

 

 

(Article) Is Technology Short-Circuiting Your Relationship?

Is Technology Short-Circuiting Your Relationship?

By SUZANNE PHILLIPS, PSY.D., ABPP

 

A day before the announcement of the i-phone 4G, a New York Times article addressed the mental price of our involvement with technology. It reported that scientists are finding that the high use of technology — e-mails, cell phones, i-pads, text messages, i-messages, blogs, tweets, internet alerts, facebook etc. bombard us with such an instant stream of  information that they make us hyper-alert to new bits of information but less able to sustain focus on the task at hand.  It suggests that technology can change how people think and behave.

What about the impact of technology on relationships?

• Does the technology that matched you with your spouse, now keep you apart?
• Are you able to “be in the moment” with your partner without checking an e-mail or answering a call?
• Are text messages from your partner a welcomed hint of intimacy or a dreaded source of stress?

Dr. Kimberly Young in her research on the addictive nature of online technology suggests that technology, like food, is an essential part of daily life – but necessitates moderation and controlled use.

Can you use technology in a way that makes use of its advantages and limits its disadvantages to your relationship?

Detachment — Advantages

The response to technology, be it talking on a cell phone or reading e-mails, demands at least some partial detachment from reality. For partners, this can feel particularly wonderful because for a few minutes you can reach outside of your reality to connect or be connected to the one you love.  The job, the train station, the airport recede. The cell phone call offers instant connection between partners.

Detachment — Disadvantages

When technology disrupts the reality shared with one’s partner it can undermine the very benefits it affords.  Turning on the laptop to check your emails or answering a call during time together – be it dinner, the walk in the park or the late night sitcom, is an emotional disconnect. It replaces the connection with the partner with an alternative connection.

When this type of disruption is an occasional occurrence, most partners just pick-up the moment. When it’s chronic, it erodes the sustained attention needed to feel known and special to each other.

“When she stops talking to me to answer a call – it’s worse than when she’s out of town because she’s there but I’m invisible.”

Off-Line Exclusivity

Reducing the 24/7 disruption that technology can cause takes recognizing the impact on you and your partner and prioritizingyour right to an undisturbed exclusive connection. The more effort you make to protect your time together – the more special it will feel.

• “We don’t answer our cell phones on the boat.”
• “We have agreed to be unavailable to everyone but an emergency call from our kids while we watch our favorite show.”
• “Neither of us will answer our cell phones during dinner.”

Regulating Feelings

A common answer I have received when asking men and women what they do to reduce stress is “being online” – surfing the net, shopping, checking emails, responding to facebook etc.

Advantages

• Use of technology is a viable and valid stress reducer.  Physically and psychologically it shifts one’s attention, provides distraction from pain, postponement of worry, a reason to laugh, a place to connect, an arena to compete, and so on. It has the potential to positively transform feelings, to reduce anxiety and stress.
• We may have experienced it and certainly have seen enough romantic comedies depicting couples side by side with their laptops to know that the mutual use of technology can be enjoyable to couples.
• Cosmopolitan magazine’s April 2010 issue reminded men to come out of the cave because many female partners actually want to play video games with them.

Ultimately, the advantages to a couple hang in the balance. If they both use technology as a stress reducer that is great — especially if they agree when to turn the laptops off.

Disadvantages

• Technology can be used in a negative way to reduce stress by partners. The continued calling, texting or emailing by a partner to “feel connected,” “exert influence” or “maintain surveillance” is a misconceived attempt to feel better. Texting someone in the middle of a work day to continue a fight or make one more point – is an intrusion that does little for resolution, love or connection. If your partner feels stressed when your caller ID flashes or your text appears– something is wrong.
• Technology also becomes a liability when online use is an excessive attempt to escape feelings.  As such, it not only fails to regulate anxiety and stress, it can become anaddiction that jeopardizes your personal functioning and your relationship. Running into cyberspace (gambling, porn, video games) rather than feeling or dealing leaves both you and your partner out. Real life becomes too risky. Real relating – less and less possible.
• Recognition of the problem and positive attitudes aboutseeking help become crucial for both.

Information Seeking

Technology has opened a world of information never before accessible at a speed never thought possible.

Advantages

• Couples have not only used technology and the information provided to find each other; they have maintained long distance relationships, reached across deployments and soothed each other from miles away.
• Most couples have benefited from the vast pool of information technology provides. They have found each other jobs, passed on jokes, checked out medical issues, planned weddings, posted pictures, sold houses and much more.

Disadvantages

• As we have become increasingly efficient at researching and finding information, we have become increasingly impatient with human exchange and process.

Why ask your partner’s opinion about a recipe or the name of that old movie you saw in high school when you can find it online in less than one moment?

Because intimacy has to do with the process – the laughing at guessing the wrong or right names of the movie, remembering the car he borrowed, the flat tire, hiding pizza in your coat, realizing that you have the right actress but the wrong movie — is information you can’t find on any website. It is information only available in mutual exchange.

• Technology can’t replace here and now intimacy. A text is not a touch. Neurophysiologically we know that intimate pairs, be they mother and infant or partners, need eye to eye connection. They need at some point to hold each other’s gaze and in some way they need to feel each other’s touch.

If technology gives you and your partner the world but disrupts your relationship – there’s a short circuit somewhere you need to find and fix together.

 

(Video) “A Call to Anguish” by David Wilkerson–moved my heart

(Video) The Fire by Nate Pfeil: one of the most powerful and inspiring messages I’ve ever heard!

Watch this my friends! You will not regret it!

 

Another inspiring video by same person:

 

ARE YOU RIGHT WITH GOD?